We're not convinced ...

"What shall I play?" said the one we call the 'new Scaiff'.

"The right chords...in the right order...at the right time," we chorused. "And none of that free-form jazz." A B-minor chord progression impresses no-one. No-one.

The Indian Summer (which, if the meteorologists are to be believed, came from the Med, not India) has raised the temperatures of everyone concerned, and quadrupled the water consumption during science lessons. I dare say it has in other academic subjects, but I've only taught science this week, and therefore cannot comment.

Our latest accolade:

Best Attendance For 10 years!

That's what she said: attendance for 2010-11 was the best in a decade. And this year's, so far, is awesome.

So, the end of September approaches, and what have we learned, other than the fact that we still do not have an international rugby team worthy of a mention?

- Some of our new reception friends are really rather clever, including rather numerate;
- Year 6 really can excel - when they try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try...
- Year 5 is full of scientists;
- Key Stage 1 is packed full of writers, by all accounts;
- Year 3 are happier without a carpet;
- Year 4 are just amazing people. But I suppose we knew that already. They've merely confirmed it.

A great September, with all sorts of exciting projects, at all levels, kicking off. I have been delighted to watch displays appearing showing off our wonderful work, and very impressed with the books I have had the pleasure of seeing.

So, we lurch unceremoniously and unco-ordinatedly towards October and (so they say, but they think India is near Istanbul) cooler skies, let us continue all the good things: the good uniform, the good attendance, the good humour, the good work, the good ... stuff kind of thing. Well done everyone.

That is all.

Pixie magic?

"And now ladies and gentleman, live, all the way from sunny Yatton, please give a warm Badock's Wood welcome, as he heads into another year of pointless and, frankly, odd electronic meanderinds; its the one, the only, the thankfully unique Mr Zak Willis!"

Applause.

He comes in, stage left, wearing an immaculate three piece suit and some pink / purple combo that belongs on a cruise liner rep, and gives the crowd a wave, for which they go wild.

More applause.

He waves to the crowd at the back, then cups his hand to his ears to hear them scream. He waves his appreciation. This boy sure can work a crowd.

Applause looks like it will continue, therefore with a final flourish he begs for calm. The crowd calms, awaiting the next utterances of idiocy. A hush desends, as mass acknowledgement is realised. They have indeed, irrevocably, entered

the blog...

Friends, parents, carers, colleagues, governors, wellwishers and stakeholders, welcome back to another school year. Summer, which seemed to last for a year, is now a distant memory, and few of us fear we will ever be warm again. However, let that not detract from a start - a fine, fine start - to a year of great promise. Books are already bursting with work, displays appear mysteriously almost on the hour, uniform is the best I have ever seen, and ... there's a certain something else.

It's....

Erm ...

Can't ... quite ... put me finger on it...

GADZOOKS! That's it! I knew I'd see it again some time soon.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, is smiling. I have been in work every morning this week early, partially because the mother-in-law has taken up residence of the spare room, but mostly because it is a pleasure at the moment to be here and see people smiling. I arrive early - but still after the other staff - and watch them working and joking together. I go onto the playground and see people of all ages sharing jokes and fun - in some cases this week in the most appalling weather conditions - and then I walk around each day watching, with enormous joy and pride, classes enjoying their work.

If I were a clever bloke, I'd try to put it into words.

It would be something like... aspire... achieve...enjoy.

Fitting. I like it.

Have a brilliant year everyone.

That is all.

It's good to be back.

All. Completely. Honestly.

And now, the end is near, ...

I am astounded that an academic year has passed. It is a cliche, but where has the time gone?

Last year, on Friday 24th July, I stood in front of the entire school community and bade a fond farewell to those leavers, and made the bold and daring claim that, come this year's leavers' service, I wanted to stand in front of the assembled community with a positive OfSTED report in one hand and a letter recategorising the school in the other. Will I be able to make good?

More of this later. First, we must, surely, wax lyrical about this year's band of leavers.

What an amazing bunch of young people. What a thoroughly, thoroughly pleasant and decent set of individuals. And what amazing friendships. Quietly, almost stoically, some of these guys have had to face the most unbearable personal circumstances. Yet they have managed it. And they have managed it together.

It has been nothing but a privilege and a joy to watch these young people blossom and grow. As I said last night, I'm really going to miss the fun. Stay young - stay children - as long as you possibly can.

But let us not be sad. No, no. We shall not shed a tear. Let us instead cheer and shout from the rooftops the plain and simple facts:

BEST SATs RESULTS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE SCHOOL!

In case you missed it, I said best SATs results ever, including reaching the national average in mathematics.
- First cohort to leave the school with 27 APS (technical, but let me assure you, very very important).
- Not a single, not one solitary exclusion. Not even an hour.
- Books shared with other schools to demonstrate what "Good" year 6 learners should be doing.
- Attendance above the national average, including a 100% SATs week.
- Performed not once but twice at the Colston Hall, and in Wales during St David's Week.
- An utterly nice bunch of people.

What of the rest of the school? did we neglect them? To quote a famous dog, "Oh no no no no". What did the rest of the school get up to this year.

- Reception outcomes were above the Local average for the second year running;
- Key Stage 1 results were up in every indicator by an average of 25%;
- Progress in reading in every year group;
- Progress in writing in every year group;
- Progress in maths in (you guessed it) every year group;
- APS = 4.17 (trust me, that's good).

Overall, not bad you would suppose. Yet wait, there is more.

- Not one but two successful OfSTED visits;
- Three consecutive "good" grades at progress review;
- Investors in People award;
- Financial Management Standards award;
- Every Child a Reader award;
- Best attendance since records began.

A year, as I said earlier, a fast disappearing year of amazing and significant improvement and achievement. I am extremely proud and pleased to be the head of such an organisation, and my intention is to kick on to the next phase.

So will I be able to make good on my claim from last year? Now, there's a story.

I most certainly will have the OfSTED report I sought in one hand. And in the other? There will be a number of documents which I will share with the school community. But that's for tomorrow.

Let me conclude a year of furious blogging by simply stating thus: thank you all; for your effort; your determination; your commitment; your enthusiasm; your passion; your kindness; your resilience; your smile; your shoulder; your heart. Thank you. Thank you. Simply...thank you.

For one year of amazing achievement, whilst we look forward to another, that is all.

Have a great holiday. Stay safe.

That really is all.

Happy, happy campers

Although we have been in constant communication with school, and I am delighted with how well the trips have gone, and of course, we all screamed at the brilliant news on Tuesday (more of this later), allow me if you will to concentrate this blog on our Exmouth camp this week.

New challenges have been faced by all, from managing personal hygiene, to flinging oneself from a bridge. My fellow campers - the princess of Darkness, Tall lad and Messa Sims - and I have been repeatedly impressed, amazed and proud of the successes and achievements of the gang this week. Some of our highlights have been:

- Holly Hulin (allegedly) attacking anything that moved, before annihilating all at musical statues;

- Lewis' quite monumental bedwear;

- Vic and Bob's appearance on the camp, disguised as Jessica and Kelsey;

- The intestinal fortitude of Miss Sims, who dislocated her own shoulder, then popped it back in Mel Gibson stylee;

- Finlay's dancing - see it to believe it;

- Mr Scaiff refusing to abseil down a bridge, until coerced by orchestrated chicken clucking from the year 6 gallery;

- Jess' myriad verbal attacks on Mr W;

- The Scaiffmeister in a wetsuit - step back ladies, he's taken;

- George's pull on the rest of the planet;

- Inker's skimboarding, and the way he has sensitively and beautifully managed some difficult situations for other people;

- Blake and Jake's matching pjs and blossoming friendship;

- Luke "Legend", Harrison "Nobody", Jess and Kelsey "Vic and Bob" for all surfing, yes I mean proper surfing a la Point Break;

- Maid Macy Marion's archery, and Summer's double archery / rifle bullseyes;

- Elisha's skill at being someone as amazing as Elisha;

- Everyone who had the courage to climb over and then abseil down that horrible, horrible bridge in that horrible, horrible weather;

- Princess's ability to lay an ostrich egg;

- Ellie and Jodie taking on responsibility for caring for someone who desperately needed it, but did not know;

- Bethany for being a proper mentalist, including barking at the fatboy for not dancing correctly;

- Lewis Ramsey repeatedly being an ambassador for our school;

- The way Ethan Prince has responded to challenge, and for his amazing one liners;

- Blake's world record trampolining, all in his own lunchtime;

- The fact we have had an entire week without a single fallout, disappointment or let down.

Everyone has contributed to the quality of this camp, without a shadow of doubt the best I have ever been involved in, and it is a testament to the calibre of these fine individuals from years 5 and 6. We cannot thank you all enough.

But I'll try.

Thank you. All. Very, very much. From the bottom of my very proud heart.

That is all.

PS Colston Hall was awesome. Well done people.

PPS Exceedingly good news announced next week. Watch this space...

Did I mention I was in the Evening Post?

Alex McLeish? I mean, Alex McLeish? Yes, I know what you're thinking, but allow me just to pose one question: Alex McLeish? The only thing he could win is points at Scrabble with that X. (Naturally, Scottish trophies do not count south of Durham.) Hmmm. In the words of an infamous tractor daredevil "I am not, I am Not, Happy".

Anyway, rant over, allow me to continue, for there is joyful news in the world with the release of a new Bon Iver album, and, of course in the Evening Post where our school is spoken of very highly. My wife has, apparently, 'facebooked' it. Charming, but I have no idea what that actually means, so, bless.

But, even better than that, the school has not stopped since the inspection, oh no no no. EYFS (yes, those clever little ones) have recorded results far above and beyond what we expected. And key stage 1( those clever medium sized ones) have done, so I hear, remarkably well in their key satge 1 SATs. Furthermore, the displays and the books in key stage 2 were very impressive this evening. So, it looks as if we will continue to strive to meet our own ambitious goals by the end of the year. Sounds familiar.

Please weather people, be nice to us tomorrow.

Not Alex McLeish mind.

That is all.