Thursday, 4 July 2013

Will he do it?

Every year I mumble this promise to myself under my breath. In this week of every year I make my honorable oath to remain true to what I say in ... this week of every year.  I silently swear that it will happen, and try with all my eyes-closed-tight might to bring it about.  I see the words loom large in my mind's eye, and use this image to build their strength and meaning.   I don't let anyone hear it until I have built up my own conviction.  Parts of me hear it though; my knees hear it and high five one another; my feet hear it and dance - of their own accord - in silent joy to the theme of the Hallelujah Chorus, and my back groans and creaks a yell of apoplectic whimsy.

Once I have a little more confidence, I start to rehearse saying it to others.  I even develop something of a self pitying grimace to accompany the phrase in the hope they will take it more seriously.  I start by sharing it with family members, who, much as they do throughout the twelve month, ignore me with unadulterated disdain.

So I try it out on friends and neighbours, who know me not enough to gauge my levels of seriousness.

Then I try it out on colleagues and children as if they may proffer just a note of interest.  I clasp my hands together, and look not enormously dissimilar to Richard III - auditionees, keen to impress my earnestness.

Yet none of them seem to register my honour.

Perhaps the words seem feeble, or non-commital, but I do not see how their meaning can be lost.  Yet, as I say the words with passion and conviction, none seem to believe me.

So, this time I must compose myself.

Take a breath.

Believe in the power of what I have to say.

Know that I am right.

Never falter from the virtue of my cause, as I say out loud:

"This will be my last camp!"

There.  I've said it.  It's out there.  Couldn't take it back even if I wanted to.

I'm sorry...what?

What was that?  You don't believe it?  You think I'm making it up?  How can you think that?

Oh, I see.  Apparently I said it last year, and then after water sports day told everyone to ignore me.  Is that right?  And the year before that after I got all those kids to the top of the climbing wall.  And you think I'll do it again.

Well, we'll see about that.

You just tune into the blogs every night next week from Exmouth camp and we'll see who's right, shall we.

So there.

That is all, until next week.........